Monday, November 26, 2007

[Essay] Three Months Left To Live

A doctor tells you that you have three months left to live, what are you going to do?

DJ Marco: I'd spend it with the people I love just having a good time and making wonderful memories
DJ Marco: then I'd do a lot of the things I always wanted to do
DJ Marco: visit the countries i wanted to see
DJ Marco: say the things i always wanted to say to certain people
DJ Marco: then on my last day, i'd go to a church and light a candle for the people i'd be leaving behind and say a prayer
DJ Marco: then i'd go have a party with friends and family
DJ Marco: then when the exact time comes, i'd go to a room lie down and close my eyes with a smile on my face

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Leah Serran: If I am a family man (not a woman) and a doctor told me I have three months to live, of course natural feelings is to be shocked at first, but first thing that will go in my mind is, "You are not God, it is only God can tell when I should die or how long I have left to live" I will first put my trust in God and be where he wants me to be and when he wants me to go. Next thing I would do is to settle everything I needed to settle if in case I would die. The arrangement for my funeral, the arrangement for my family that they'll be okay when I am gone. Spend all my time with them while I can since I will be gone soon. Make good memories that they can carry to their heart when I am gone. Let them know that I will be staying in their hearts even though I am gone. Live life to the fullest do the things you want to do so that you won't regret it in case you go that you did what you wanted. And always pray for God's blessing and guidance at the same time have faith that whatever the doctor told you it is only God who can take you whenever he wants to.

If it was me, (as a woman and a mom/dad) and the doctor told me I have 3 months to live I would say the same thing that only God can tell me how long do I have to live an have faith at the same time but I would go home to my family right away settle what I need to settle. let everyone I love know how much I love them (Friends and family) and spend most of my 3 months with them as much as I can. I would spend time in the orphanage with them and let them know how I care about orphans (since I am an orphan). So that they will do they same thing when they can at their own time. I will just live my life to fullest too with faith in my heart that God is only the answer to everything. I want to make sure that all the people I love is going to be okay when I leave. That I will remain in their hearts forever and they will remain in my heart forever. I will teach them not to cry over me but be happy because I know I will be right beside my Father looking down watching over you people that I love and care about.

If I have the money to spend I would do more good things on earth and leave a good memory for the Filipinoes because I am flipino in blood!  When I say good things there are a lot stake go to squatters areas give food or anything they need, go to home for the aged ...whatever that my money can do. As long as my family is already safe for the future too!

There are much more to say MG I might fill up your blog I will leave the rest for you since I know we have the same mentality anyway! "First thing to do though ,talk to God through your heart."


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Bonna Balinas: Siguro pag may pera ako, mag-aaround the world ako, tsaka mag-aask ako ng forgiveness sa mga tao na nasaktan ko kahit na, ung mga taong di ko alam na nasaktan ko lahat, tsaka i-peace ko na lang na ganun talaga ung buhay mamamatay naman talaga tayo mas maaga lang ako.  (If I have money, I’ll travel the world, ask forgiveness from those who I’ve hurt and from those I unintentionally hurt and I would make peace with the situation I’m in because life is just like that—in the end we all will die but it just so happens that I am going first). 

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Ms. Kreng Basilio: alam mo kasi napakahirap kasi ng mapunta sa ganung situation eh di ba? Kasi parang ung family mo makikita ung sufferings mo, hindi lang ikaw ung magkukwestyon eh parang siguro pati ung family mo magkakaroon ng question of faith—kumbaga bakit parang kelangan magsuffer kami ng ganito, ano’ng ginawa naming kasalan—siguro kung ako on my part, bakit binigyan ka pa ng asawa, bibigyan ka ng mga kaibigan, nag-eenjoy ka sa buhay tapos bigla ganun lang (snaps fingers) mamamatay ka na pala. Kung iisipin mo, ano ung positive side? Mas maganda na nalaman mo na mamamatay ka kasi meron ka time to prepare, ang ibig ko sabihin, kung hindi ka pa nagcha-change, kung hindi pa ung buhay mo ay naka direct kay God, eh di pwede mo pa baguhin un. Ung three months mo, spend mo para mo hanapin ung purpose mo sa buhay. Kung ang purpose mo sa buhay talaga ay to bring pleasure to God, eh di gawin mo na un, kumbaga binigyan ka na niya ng pagkakataon na mag-serve whereas kung namatay ka sa aksidente, ni hindi ka man lang nakapagpaalam, hindi mo napaghandaan ung magiging buhay mo after ng buhay mo dito, di ba parang ganun. Siguro dapat, dapat napaka-strong ung tao para maging positive pa rin ung outlook niya sa buhay kahit na alam niyang mamamatay na siya. Tingnan mo si Rio Diaz, dati hindi naman siya ganun eh, dati hindi siya religious, hindi siya marunong magsalita about God. Nung nalaman niyang mamamatay siya, instead na mag-dwell siya dun sa pain or sisihin niya ng sisihin ung Diyos bakit nangyari sa buhay niya un, ginamit niya un, parang naging instrument un sa kanya  para siya maging inspiration to influence others. Siguro un ung dapat mong gawin. You have only three months to live, bakit i-spend mo ung three months na un living in pain di ba?  Parang ganun, un ung aking point of view.  Mahirap…madaling sabihin pero napakahirap gawin pero kung may faith ka, alam mo naman na ung reason kung bakit nangyari sayo un, dapat mahanap mo ung totoong dahilan at nang makapag-respond ka ng maigi kung ano ung gusto ng Diyos na maging response mo dun sa trial na un.  (You know, it’s so hard to be in that kind of situation, because it’s painful for your family to see you suffer. Not only you will question your faith but your family will question theirs as well and ask, “Why do we have to suffer like this? What sin did we commit to deserve this?” On my part, I would be asking, “Why was I given a husband, friends and an enjoyable life when all of a sudden, just like that I’ll learn that I’ll be dying?” If you’ll think about it, what is the positive side of this situation? I think it’s better to know that you’re dying because it gives you time to prepare. What I mean is, if you still haven’t change, if your life is not yet directed or centered on God, at least you can still change and turn your life around. Spend your three months finding your purpose in life.  Let’s say that your purpose in life is to bring pleasure to God, then do it. It’s like you were given the opportunity to serve whereas if you die from an accident, you’re not given the chance to say good bye, you’re not even properly ready for your afterlife journey after living out your life on Earth. I think a person should be very strong to still have a positive outlook in life despite knowing the fact that you’re dying. Look at Rio Diaz, before she’s not who she is right now, before she was not religious and she doesn’t talk about God. When she learned she’s dying, instead of dwelling on the pain and blaming God for everything, she used that life-shattering moment, made it her instrument and it became her inspiration to influence other people—and I think that is what you should do. You only have three months to live why spend it living in pain, right? That is my point of view.  It’s hard… it’s easy to say the words but its so much harder to put in into practice… but if you have faith, and you know the reason why it happened to you, you should search deeper for the true reason or meaning so your response to God’s trial will be the response that He is asking from you).

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Mhyra Ignacio: siguro magpapahanap na muna ako ng pari para makapag-confess, tapos maggagawa ako ng letters para sa mga tao na sa akala ko may nagawa ako ng di maganda pero ung purpose naman nun is para makahingi ng forgiveness pero hindi ung para kaawaan nila ako or what kasi mahirap para sa akin ung kaawaan ako kasi sa time na un, hindi un ung kailangan ko, parang ang kailangan ko is lalo nila ako i-uplift para lalo ako’ng guminhawa. Pero hindi lang letter of forgiveness, letter of thanks din. Siguro magrerequest na ako ng mga gusto ko nun! Pagkakataon ko nang i-enjoy ung mga gusto ko as long as kayang ibigay ung gusto ko. (I think, I’m going to ask for a priest so I can have my confession, then I’m going to send out letters to those whom I may have hurt but the purpose of that letter is to ask for forgiveness and not for them to pity me or what because it’s hard for me to be pitied at. Besides, at that time, I probably don’t need pity but what I need is for them to cheer me up so I’d feel better.  But of course, I’m not only sending out letters of forgiveness. I’ll also send out letter of thanks. And most probably, I’m going to request for all of the things I want! That would be my chance to enjoy the things I like as long as money is not a problem).

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Mary Heidi Drilon: Pray and thank the Lord for giving me three months notice to live. Ask forgiveness from those I have hurt, paint a lot and be remembered. Meet family and friends… date with my boyfriend.

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Cristian Valaquio: At last the time I’ve been waiting for! Now, I can finally rest in peace. There’s nothing I can do. You may find my answer kindda stubborn but that’s the truth. Death is inevitable. Kung oras mo na, oras mo na.  Thou shall not fear death for death is just the beginning.

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Lalaine Kristine Miravite: Siguro cry ako. Pero I’m going to live my remaining days as I want.

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Teresita Tablarin: first, I will examine my conscience and do soul searching…where did I go wrong in my life? Did I commit a mortal sin? Then maybe I should start changing spiritually by going first to confession, tapos do some charity work—not necessarily financial, donating money, no… kasi syempre limited din ang income ng isang may sakit for example they are not that rich so financially, magkakaroon ng constraint dahil nagpapagamot syempre not because you’re dying you’ll just wait for your death. You have to do something so instead of sulking, you do something worthwhile before you die so may maiiwan kang legacy hindi lang sa pamilya mo, but also sa sarili mo makarecover ka from your previous mistakes. Another maybe is to talk to people na suffering—you go to cancer wards, talk to them, comfort them—kung kaya pa ng katawan mo, syempre kung hindi na kaya, well, magbasa ka na lang, listen to music, make your life a little more comfortable through music kasi music daw is the food for the soul. Ewan ko that is my point of view, because since we cannot prevent dying, it will always come we just don’t know when, we might as well get ready for it. We don’t have to mope and cry all day because you’re dying you have to do something else to keep you busy and forget the pain for a while. Kumbaga kasi keeping yourself busy is a temporary anesthesia for loneliness, for depression, yun…  ang tao nadedepress lang pag idle but if you keep yourself busy, you’ll forget that you are dying, di ba?

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Anne Marie Joy Tablarin: Three months to live? Second opinion. Pagka-second opinion three months to live pa rin, o eh di ano, instead of living quantitatively, I would live qualitatively na. Oo, andyan ung let’s say syempre three months to live na yan so I’m sure may mga symptoms na yan andyan ung let’s say ano primarily andyan nangunguna pain so syempre I would consult an anesthesiologist for pain management tapos ung mga other symptoms let’s say nahihirapan huminga, then I would also ask a respiratory doctor para to relieve my difficulty of breathing, mga ganun… any symptoms, I would seek specialists just to alleviate my pain and other symptoms para maka-function pa ako so kung ano man ung gusto ko’ng gawin.  Once palliative care has been achieved, I would go spend the rest of my remaining life qualitatively. Meaning, I’d try to do everything, enjoy everything before I die. So let’s say hindi pa ako nakakapuntang Switzerlandpupunta akong Switzerland para mag-ski, just to touch the snow—that’s just one.

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After all that has been said and done, I can’t help but think this topic through and I realize that we shouldn’t have to wait for those fatal words to be uttered to us before we actually do the things we’ve always wanted to do; to forgive and ask to be forgiven; to appreciate the people we have and to tell them or make them feel appreciated; to tell and make our loved ones feel loved and know for sure that they are very much loved.

This is no easy matter and people don’t change overnight especially with the forgiving part. People by nature aren’t forgiving but we can learn. Of course we can’t really and truly forgive a person who did us wrong when we ourselves are still hurting. The key is to move past the pain into healing and only then will we be able to forgive.

As for being a little bit more appreciative and being a little bit more loving everyday is something that we can start right now, at this moment. Start by brushing up on positive adjectives like for example, when someone gives you a much needed item, you appreciate them by smiling and saying, “Oh wow! This is great! Thank you!” instead of your usual flat and emotionless “Thank You.”

To be a little bit more loving, we could try this: if we see our friends, family or loved ones a little bit down, we could show them we love them and that no matter what, they are very much loved by asking how they are or by spontaneously giving them a hug, or leaving little notes or text messages saying that you love them or how much you love them.

Small things could brighten someone’s day and the good feelings you’ve created in someone comes back at you and in turn brightens up your day and brings in good karma.

So you see we don’t really need to hear those fatal words to be a better person or to be able to do what makes us happy. It is a matter of choice… and of perspective.